Had a frank chat with a brother on addiction to pornography and sexual sin amongst Christian guys.
"If u throw a stone at the crowd, you'd sure hit one. But it's a taboo topic we never talk about..."
I can identify with his experience - temptation strikes when we are stressed or exhausted with work, alone in a foreign place... and unlike the 80's when we guys had to hunt for hidden bookstores, instant virtual gratification now is just a 'google' away.
When alone in a hotel room, it is easy to imagine that no one would find out.
And while it may be easy to avoid the more perversed, dehumanising hardcore stuffs, it's the more 'subtle' materials that offers the illusory promise of intimacy that initally entices and snares us.
It feeds on our woundedness ("I've been shortchanged in life so I deserve this little bit of pleasure") and the lie that God is a killjoy who does not have our best interest at heart.
But it ends up with enormous guilt, a sense of hollowness, disappointment, and enslavement for more. And it cripples our capacity for real intimacy that God has intended.
What my friend does in this battle with sin is a good friend with whom he can confide in and be held accountable, if he succumbs. When he feels the urge to pick up that Playboy magazine from the rack, he'd have to think of the phone call he needs to make to this brother.
The brother wud probably pray with him, counsel him to step out of the room (flee!) and get some fresh air... just being there to stand alongside and lifts him up when he falls.
I wonder if every brother does not need an accountability partner like that?
Strategies for Sexual Purity
http://www.desiringgod.org/library/topics/sex/sexuality_index.html
"If u throw a stone at the crowd, you'd sure hit one. But it's a taboo topic we never talk about..."
I can identify with his experience - temptation strikes when we are stressed or exhausted with work, alone in a foreign place... and unlike the 80's when we guys had to hunt for hidden bookstores, instant virtual gratification now is just a 'google' away.
When alone in a hotel room, it is easy to imagine that no one would find out.
And while it may be easy to avoid the more perversed, dehumanising hardcore stuffs, it's the more 'subtle' materials that offers the illusory promise of intimacy that initally entices and snares us.
It feeds on our woundedness ("I've been shortchanged in life so I deserve this little bit of pleasure") and the lie that God is a killjoy who does not have our best interest at heart.
But it ends up with enormous guilt, a sense of hollowness, disappointment, and enslavement for more. And it cripples our capacity for real intimacy that God has intended.
What my friend does in this battle with sin is a good friend with whom he can confide in and be held accountable, if he succumbs. When he feels the urge to pick up that Playboy magazine from the rack, he'd have to think of the phone call he needs to make to this brother.
The brother wud probably pray with him, counsel him to step out of the room (flee!) and get some fresh air... just being there to stand alongside and lifts him up when he falls.
I wonder if every brother does not need an accountability partner like that?
Strategies for Sexual Purity
http://www.desiringgod.org/library/topics/sex/sexuality_index.html
Comments
It is my dream that Agora be more than a learning community, but also a partnership of accountability, to the quality of that dear saint that watches over your friend.
Shall we do this? I personally know 2 people in the group in desperate need for these services.
Leon