Light Bulb Jokes

One of the few things I still remember from my Economics course in HELP Institute...

How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Five. One to change it and four to hold everything else constant.

Some fun from an unknown source...

"How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including: incandescent, fluorescent three way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish: What's a light bulb?"

Comments

Sivin Kit said…
hahhaha Lutheran .. don't believe in change? I'm rolling in laughter!
Dave said…
:D heheh.... Definitely not true for this Lutheran here.

Is that true, in general?
jedibaba said…
Sivin is a Lutheran???
Anonymous said…
Little Flock: Any number starting from 2 or 3. But only one light bulb in each area ok!

:( you missed out my church!

Jack
Anonymous said…
CDPC: We will change the bulb after a 6 month course on light and darkness complete with a workbook.
Dave said…
John Maxwell: One Million. We will start an MLM operation going, where each trainer trains another 30 trainers, who in turn trains 30 each... who in turn...
discordant dude said…
John Piper: It doesn't matter, as long as you're happy.
Dave said…
reminds me of one time when my colleagues (8 of us IT consultants) went to Bako, opening up a bottle of wine...

the opener broke, part of it got stuck in the cork...

So one guy stood on the table, and pulled... while the rest of us held the bottle steady.

That was how the joke, "How many consultants does it take to open a bottle of wine?" started....
Sivin Kit said…
Oh my Jedibaba ... Scratch my skin and Lutheran-ness leaks all over the place. Now once you press the right buttons ... theology of the cross, real presence, the 4 solas ... pop up here and there. :-) oh yeah then there's Law and Gospel how it works in preaching ... Luther's funny quotes ... I've also done my "Luther Haj" already last year ... even went to Wartburg Castle where Luther translated the German Bible ... hehehe. Of course, all this is camouflouged (is that how you spell the word)when I hang out with friends ... then it's just "me" *grin*

as for David's question .. it depends. But in general especially our western counterparts ... the answer is Yes! Have you heard of Garrison Keilor ... he's got loads of funny stories on the Lutherans in Lake wobegon.
Anonymous said…
Someone in the Stephen Tong forum wrote:

Scientology: What light bulb? It's just a state of the mind and never exists in reality

In her Science and Health, Mary Eddy Baker wrote , "The opposite of Truth, called error, sin, sickness, disease, death, is the false testimony of false material sense, of mind in matter (SH, 108:24-26)."
Dave said…
Justin Taylor has some good posts on The Simpsons, standing together with Catholics without theological compromise, natural law etc this week

http://theologica.blogspot.com
Anonymous said…
A guy fren of mine sez: "Why are there so few women in reformed churches? and most of them are not feminine or slightly overweight"

LOL!
Bob K said…
Hmm .. what the Baptists would do sounds more like how a TRAC church would operate hereabouts ;)
Anonymous said…
heheh... for counter-examples of reformed ladies who also pack a wallop, check out the blogs of Jessica Santoso, Alexa Ho and BohTea... :D

there are others but i'd not let the calvinists' best kept secrets out of the bag :D