During the post-Total Truth lunch chat last Saturday, I found out tat I had a reputation to be 'match maker' for people... hehe... ok it's no secret tat as a card carrying complementarian, I do get worked up over the fact that many christian guys are just too passive, when there are tonnes of beautiful and smart sistas' in church!! (ok, one of my NextUp friends requested me to give give 'em a sounding, so here's a slap on the wrist)For some reasons, guys can get intimidated and insecure by gorgeous and intelligent ladies... Is it fear of rejection? Phobia of competition - some primal evolutionaty instincts kicked in to take the route of least resistance? I dunno...
Maybe you could help out with some probing questions that a brilliant and pretty lass from the Total Truth group asked:
"Do men like intelligent women? Women who can think, formed their own opinions (and I mean very mature, articulated opinions) and are independent. A girl who is certain of what she wants, how she goes about getting it and a girl who has strings of achievements in her past and still working for more. Do men want these women as their girl friends, wives and mothers of their children? Can men take it if you sit next to your wife and all attention is on her and your big bosses prefer to talk to her than to you because they are attracted to her intelligence and impressed with her oral skills and you are still proud of her? Can men sit and watch their politician wives give fantastic speeches and still clap and cheer for her? Can men handle a wife who can argue (and when I say argue that doesn’t mean quarrel, just getting in to an intellectual discourse) and formulate very mature and articulate arguments about certain issues and enjoy engaging with her arguments? And if you are a man of equal importance and who possess a string of achievements as well, will you feel threatened having to live in the shadow of your girl friend in the public square or in the small social circle? I wonder, I wonder, I wonder.
Or will men consider intelligence found in these women – SEXY? Will they be proud of her and feel really good about themselves because these women choose to be with them and not any other men?
OR
Do men prefer women who doesn’t know much and allow you to lead her and pamper her and each time you ask her a question a reply you will likely get is, “I don’t know, darling … you’re the smart one”. (Although I think many intelligent women do that pretentiously just so their husbands / boyfriends can feel smart for a split second).
If not, I think intelligent girls may not find themselves a suitable partner. The intelligent guys find them too intimidating and the not-so-intelligent ones (I’m trying very hard here to be politically correct) find them difficult to connect with.
A very intelligent girl friend of mine said this: “It’s almost like a curse if we are intelligent”.
What ya think?"
Comments
I have no problem with connection nor do I find her intimidating. Am I dumb or what? :D
Y1
While some girls may protest at the chauvinism of such a statement, I can't help but wonder if it is not partially true.
I don't mean smart girls should necessarily act ditzy, but that they should not make a show of their abilities in a way that may alienate men.
I personally find feminist, independent, and opinionated girls to be a turn-off.
I find women who express informed opinions in a winsome way to be highly attractive.
It seems to me to a large extent girls who complain than guys feel threatened by girls who are intelligent do not know how to carry themselves.
(forgive me for overgeneralizing, I do realize that there are brainy girls know how to carry themselves but find themselves single anyway -- well, perhaps their time has not yet come.)
But perhaps instead of complaining about one's lot in life, one should strive to improve one's personality?
Just a suggestion. ;-)
Wrt to your topic... :P I've met lots of young ladies who are just a bit too preoccupied with their own perceived intelligence. Not sexy. Boring. Same goes for guys of course.
I figure I'd rather date a hacker or athlete instead of one of those 'intellectuals' - read: proud, opinionated, talkative, broadly read, and ignorant, squawkers....
Hehe. Says something about my tastes in general, doesn't it?
Ya, I didn't have big problems with a top As girl who beat me in every exam, but ya like what Veerasingam says, It really depends on whether intelligence 'defines' something very close to that person eh?
YJ! Hmm.. lemme guess, a cross between hacker and athlete? Ah! I know - Trinity of the Matrix hehehe...
Ultimately, i believe, its the way a girl carries herself in front of a guy. - and josh tong correctly said it well, hitting the hammer right on the head of the nail.