By Millie Chan, 2005 GCF icommentary. She is in active legal practice and has been so for more than twenty years.
I felt wretched when I again reneged on a commitment I have made to the Lord. But on deeper reflection, it dawns on me that I was more upset with myself than remorseful towards God. I hardly spared a thought at that moment on how my broken promise broke His heart. My intolerance over the failure was because I am success oriented.
God wants us to walk in obedience. And without a doubt I started off wanting to be obedient to Him. But as is so often with me, the "self" creeps off the altar of surrender and sets up center stage somewhere else. Along the way, my attitude towards the bad habit imperceptibly shifted from God-centered to self-centered. I become more concerned over my "victory" in overcoming the bad habit than I am about the fact that it grieves the heart of God.
Obedience is oriented toward God; victory is oriented toward self. In a true heart of obedience, victory is merely a by-product.
The sin that so easily ensnares us daily hides in the diversified "hyphenated sins" of the human spirit: self-absorption, self-exaltation, self-sufficiency, self-indulgence, self-centeredness and the list goes on. Often we start off with professing Christ in our mouth but soon end up with entertaining self interest in our heart. Our natural inclination is to navigate to a compass with its north pointing "self".
Thus Jesus calls each to "deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. " (Luke 9:23)
Deny self: Let us not fool ourselves. Relinquishment is no easy task. To exalt the will of God, to carry out the will of God, even to go on a crusade for the will of God is not difficult until His will comes at cross purpose with our will, until it costs us to be obedient. That is when the real lines are drawn, the argument ensues, the rationalization battles and self-deception takes over.
But Jesus understands the wiles of the human self. On the grounds of Gethsemane, the human longing of the Incarnate Son asked repeatedly for the cup to pass. He prayed through bloody sweat. But as He persisted remaining in Him, the human will was conquered by "Thy will be done".
Thus in times of conflict, call on Him unashamedly and He will intercede for us. (Hebrews 7:25)
Take up cross and follow Him: We are asked to relinquish self to be crucified with Christ. Crucifixion with Christ always has resurrection tied to it. "I have been crucified with Christ,…and the life I now live…" (Galatians 2:20). The release is with hope. It is not a fatalist resignation. We let go with a confident trust in the character of God. We are set free from the ever-lasting burden of always having to get our own way.
Daily: Be alert that the surrender of will is a moment by moment decision, experienced through each specific of the day as we face the ordinary incidents of home, family and job. The assertion "my will be done" is a daily battle cry. Thus the call is to take up the cross "daily".
As we embrace each new day, let us remind ourselves that our aim is not to make God a part of our lives, but to make the whole of us a part of His life. In each decision, He is not to be at the periphery but He must be at the center. When we surrender to be transformed, the desire is not to be victorious, but to be obedient.
I felt wretched when I again reneged on a commitment I have made to the Lord. But on deeper reflection, it dawns on me that I was more upset with myself than remorseful towards God. I hardly spared a thought at that moment on how my broken promise broke His heart. My intolerance over the failure was because I am success oriented.
God wants us to walk in obedience. And without a doubt I started off wanting to be obedient to Him. But as is so often with me, the "self" creeps off the altar of surrender and sets up center stage somewhere else. Along the way, my attitude towards the bad habit imperceptibly shifted from God-centered to self-centered. I become more concerned over my "victory" in overcoming the bad habit than I am about the fact that it grieves the heart of God.
Obedience is oriented toward God; victory is oriented toward self. In a true heart of obedience, victory is merely a by-product.
The sin that so easily ensnares us daily hides in the diversified "hyphenated sins" of the human spirit: self-absorption, self-exaltation, self-sufficiency, self-indulgence, self-centeredness and the list goes on. Often we start off with professing Christ in our mouth but soon end up with entertaining self interest in our heart. Our natural inclination is to navigate to a compass with its north pointing "self".
Thus Jesus calls each to "deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. " (Luke 9:23)
Deny self: Let us not fool ourselves. Relinquishment is no easy task. To exalt the will of God, to carry out the will of God, even to go on a crusade for the will of God is not difficult until His will comes at cross purpose with our will, until it costs us to be obedient. That is when the real lines are drawn, the argument ensues, the rationalization battles and self-deception takes over.
But Jesus understands the wiles of the human self. On the grounds of Gethsemane, the human longing of the Incarnate Son asked repeatedly for the cup to pass. He prayed through bloody sweat. But as He persisted remaining in Him, the human will was conquered by "Thy will be done".
Thus in times of conflict, call on Him unashamedly and He will intercede for us. (Hebrews 7:25)
Take up cross and follow Him: We are asked to relinquish self to be crucified with Christ. Crucifixion with Christ always has resurrection tied to it. "I have been crucified with Christ,…and the life I now live…" (Galatians 2:20). The release is with hope. It is not a fatalist resignation. We let go with a confident trust in the character of God. We are set free from the ever-lasting burden of always having to get our own way.
Daily: Be alert that the surrender of will is a moment by moment decision, experienced through each specific of the day as we face the ordinary incidents of home, family and job. The assertion "my will be done" is a daily battle cry. Thus the call is to take up the cross "daily".
As we embrace each new day, let us remind ourselves that our aim is not to make God a part of our lives, but to make the whole of us a part of His life. In each decision, He is not to be at the periphery but He must be at the center. When we surrender to be transformed, the desire is not to be victorious, but to be obedient.
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